Trying to Fly

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
-Henry Ford

Easier said than done. Sometime I feel like the wind is blowing fiercely into my face and the only way to keep going is to crawl little by little...but at least I'm still going forward.

Today the musical phrase, "How do I live without you?" Keeps playing through my head as I try to keep from succumbing to the current storms in my life without having my spouse, and best friend, by my side. How do I live without him? Honestly having him gone for more than a week or two seems much harder to me than all the other storms I'm facing. Crawling even seems too daunting a task, so I'm doing my best just to stand firm and not be blown back.

Once upon a time I was really strong. I survived on my own just fine and all I could see was my future ahead of me. My hardest moments were only as weak as a crawl and most of the time I was driven to push forward. Why do I feel so weak now? Why are the simplest tasks such a challenge? Where is my drive to fly?

I want to be strong and normally I don't mind a challenge if it means I will become stronger or improve in some way, but right now all I want is my best friend and to ignore the rest of my life.

UPDATE: I guess I just needed to get that out of my system because soon after I wrote this EVERYTHING started getting better! I'm so glad I feel like I'm not even just "crawling" but "walking" again! If I keep at this pace I think soon I will even be "running" and that is close to "flying"! I'm so glad to be focus on the positive aspects of life again and to be generally happier. I do still miss my husband so much, but I know I will get through this and will be a stronger and better woman for him when he returns :)